From Start-and-Stop to Showing Up: Why I’m Finally Going All In

If I had a dollar for every time I said, "Okay, THIS is it," I'd be sipping coconut water on a beach somewhere living my soft life dream.

Truth is, I’ve started a lot of things over the years. And I mean... a lot. Ideas that lit me up at 2AM and fizzled out by breakfast. Projects I swore were “the one”... until they weren’t. Dreams I held in my hands for a moment, before doubt, fear, or life made me put them back down.

Each time, I really wanted it. But wanting wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I didn’t fully believe I could follow through. Or worse, that I deserved to.

I’d get inspired, make a game plan, pour my heart into it... and the moment things got messy, uncomfortable, or slower than I hoped, I’d ghost my own dream. I'd start questioning everything. “Who do I think I am?” “Is this even worth it?” “What if I fail again?”

So I’d quit. Again. And each time, it chipped away at my confidence just a little more.

But here’s what I’ve learned after all those false starts:

I wasn’t failing—I was preparing.

I was gathering the pieces. Figuring out what felt good, what didn’t. Learning about myself, even in the mess. Especially in the mess.

This time is different. Not because I finally found the magic formula or some secret sauce. But because I finally realized that I am the secret.

I am the magic.

This time, I’m not chasing quick wins. I’m not trying to prove anything. I’m building something that aligns with who I am on a soul level. Something rooted in truth, love, and the vision I have for my life and my family.

I’m not trying to be perfect. I’m trying to be honest. And this time, I’m not doing it for the version of me who needs permission. I’m doing it for the version of me who’s ready to live. Who wants more than survival. Who wants joy, freedom, presence, and legacy.

I’m showing up scared. I’m showing up messy. But I’m showing up.

Because someone out there needs to hear what I have to say. Because my story, even the unfinished parts, matter. Because my kids are watching. Because I’m done playing small just to stay safe.

So if you’re a fellow start-and-stopper... if you’ve ever felt like maybe you just aren’t cut out for this... if you’ve doubted your worth or your path or your voice, please hear this:

You’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re becoming.

And it’s not too late. This gets to be your moment, too. Let’s show up. Even if our hands are shaking. Let’s go all in.

Together.